Groom's Ring

Those of you who know me are probably aware of the fact that I have a fairly simple aesthetic. I don't wear bracelets, watches, necklaces, really any accessories. Those of you who knew me in high school will find this surprising, but such is the case these days. At the end of the day I generally just flop into my bed, and my headphones are always dangling and getting unplugged, seemingly all day long. I'm not good with danglies, I suppose. So getting a ring is a tricky proposition.

We went to about a half a dozen jewelry stores to look at men's rings, try on the different metals, and get a picture of pricing. Luckily the mall in which Shannon works contains more than six jewelry stores, so it was all on one trip. On that trip I picked titanium as my metal of choice for my ring.

I know there are some risks with that. Titanium is one of the hardest and strongest materials in the world. If something were to happen to my hand while wearing my ring, the ring itself could not be cut off. They'd have to remove my finger. So that's a little scary. But I don't do a lot of dangerous work with my hands, and I can take my ring off if I ever do. The other thing is that you can never have a titanium ring resized. You just have to get a new ring milled. That is also fine. The ring is an important symbol, and I'll obviously always keep any wedding rings I own forever, but transitioning from one ring to another as my fingers chunk up over my lifetime isn't that bad.

My choice of titanium had threefold reasons. First of all, it's extraordinarily light. You can hold a titanium ring in your hand and it feels like almost nothing at all. As a non-accessorizer this appeals to me. Second, the balance of light and dark in titanium is perfect to me. It's not too gloomy, but it also isn't blinding, and it works with both black and brown based outfits. And lastly I've had a patch of irritable skin on my ring finger since childhood. Ominous, I know! And I've never been able to pursue my dream of being a professional left hand model! But in all seriousness, titanium is non-reactive and gentle on skin.

So here were the options, ending with my final choice.





The one with the red enamel stripe really appealed to me, but felt like a casual ring, not a lasting symbol of eternal love. The option with the flush set diamond is lovely, but a bit pricey for the moment. It really came down to the last two, and while I enjoy the brushed texture and sterling silver inlay, I really like they bare symbol of a plain round ring. I can always upgrade to a diamond or sterling-boosted model down the road, but as my first ring I really enjoy the simplest option. Also, we're ordering from Etsy because it's nice to support independent artists. This is, of course, not the first time you've seen that site featured on this blog, and I'm sure it won't be the last.

And that's that! That's the ring! I'm going to have it on my finger forever!

BYE!

ceremony location: ACHIEVED!

Warning: lots of pictures. Not sorry about it, just warning you.

I know what you're thinking---Shannon, you never update. Shannon, you never plan. Shannon, you're running out of time.
(Which is true, of course. For those of you counting, 126 days. Four months. Fuckin' hell, you guys.)
You, Shannon, are a terrible bride.
Well, that may be true. But luckily, the terrible bride has an amazing groom. As I have said, Greg The Super Fiance plans like a madman on his days off, calling dudes and checking webs. And, as I have yet to say, we are currently in negotiations with all our vendors.
You read me right.
I.E., this wedding is ALMOST PLANNED. It is so on. So let's show some pictures!

For a long time, we were in negotiations with the Joslyn Art Museum, since it was very pretty and directly across the street from our reception venue, the Scouler ballroom.
We would have rented out the Strauss Bridge, which features the huge glass installation of Chihuly's "Inside and Out." (Eliminating the need to have any ceremony decorations whatsoever, for how could mere flowers compete with swirly blown glass goodness)
Unfortunately, an early miscommunication gave them the impression that we wanted to rent the space for the entire night...about six hours longer than we actually needed it. When we finally cleared it up, they said we could hold our wedding there, but it couldn't start until 6...which means, if we still did the break that we are planning to allow for trick or treating, costuming up, and of course pictures, we wouldn't offer food to our guests until 8 or 9 o'clock...which is a little late for families to be feeding their children, and would only allow a few hours for dancing. So we didn't go with them. I need lots and lots of dancing.

Then there was the Holland. The Holland Performing Arts Center is a beautiful, beautiful place that I will admit I've been eyeing since before ever being engaged. It is a drop dead gorgeous building. The archetecture is clean and modern and it has windows for days...but early price quotes and capacities made us think it was out our reach.
HOWEVER, as is often the case with this wedding, luck smiled upon us and we found a connection...Greg works at the building, and since he is amazing and sweet and our wedding is on a Friday, we got a deep, deep discount. I won't say how deep, but let's just say if it were a hole, we'd be shovelling magma.
The main lobby is where most weddings happen...it has an epically huge staircase and an amazing sculpture by Jun Kaneko. We both like the drama of the main staircase, but it is a little extreme for a tiny flower girl (and a klutsy bride in heels) to navigate. And, as breathtaking as the glass stairs are, minty green doesn't really go with the whole "autumn" vibe.But oh, there is another lobby just beside the grand lobby...a tiny, unassuming lobby
with floor to ceiling windowsand a more managable, but still effective, staircase
A sweet little intimate space where we can get married in style.



Oh, and the chairs that come with the rental are ORANGE.

Destiny man. Destiny.

i'll be back soon

I know it's been a while, I'm busily working to get Shakespeare on the Green on...the....green. Working in the costume shop for fifteen hours a day really drains the brain, and when I get home, I really want to go to bed, not look at different photographers.

(reminder to self: LOOK AT PHOTOGRAPHERS. and then post about it)

I have a box of ribbons and feathers sitting by the door waiting to go to my fabulous cousin who is doing our flowers, and about once or twice a week my mom calls to ask if I have sent it yet. There is a meeting looming with our number one catering choice. Our rehearsal dinner venue has changed. Again. Probably. And maybe, someday, we will sign a contract with our ceremony location.

But I don't want to do that right now. I'm still very enthused about getting married, I'm just so very, very tired. And the thought of making decisions (and paying deposits) kind of makes me want to cry.

But that doesn't matter. Because I'm getting married in ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY TWO DAYS, and decisions have to be made.

Luckily I am marrying someone who is both incredibly organized and thoughtful, and (hallelujah!) has Mondays off, and he has been doing the planning for me. Other brides, start your gasping now. And just to let you know---it's WONDERFUL.

Also, I just think, when I'm done...I'll be married. And happy. AND IN MEXICO.
Ahhhh, so THAT'S why people have honeymoons. I get it now.

as much as i love planning the "wedding"....

...we must remember to plan the "hallo"....
Greg and I love Halloween, obviously, hence the wedding date. But I am starting to love Halloween more and more just because it is making my wedding planning easier. I don't have to put a lot of effort into entertaining my guests, because Halloween is just naturally a fun day. People will remember when the wedding is because everyone--Target, ABC Family, their children--will be counting down the days anyway. And, because I'm weird, and even though I'm a theatre major, I don't want all the attention on me all the time. That would make me terribly uncomfortable and probably make me feel like I had to poop all the time.
Yeah, I said it. Deal.
Oh, and there's the costume party reception, which is a very exciting idea. Lots of friends and family members have already started brainstorming their costumes, and by my counts there will be a gaggle of little kids running around dressed as ducks or whatever.
So I suppose the question is...what's my costume?

There's no way in hell I'm taking off that dress. It'd be a waste of money and I love that thing so much I might just wear it the next day as well. I thought about adding a really dramatic head piece, something with feathers or bubbles (a post on that later) but since I might be wearing a pretty dramatic one already, that takes that out...but one option I've been considering lately is masks.


Masks would allow me to keep on my dress and accessories and not get in the way of dancing, cake, and smooching.

I really love the above one from wing and talon (look at those little eyelashes!) but I don't love the color. Since they're on etsy, I'm sure I could get the seller to customize it in white and silver--yeah, you're picturing it. And it's cute. There are sort of matching male version for Mr. Groomy Groom.


But I think the leaf masks might also conflict with head pieces...and I don't know if they scream "Ren Fair," since that is their original purpose.


These wire options from byzantiumlotus could also be REALLY cute . I'm not entirely thrilled with her designs (or their prices!) but the idea of a wire mask is strangely appealing. It wouldn't cover up any of my face or ruin my makeup and would be so simple that I could essentially wear any other jewelry I wanted. I could also potentially make it myself, which is not an option with the leather masks.
In my searchings I've found a couple of more masculine options for Greg. The copper one at the top of this post and this silvery one are some of my favorites for him, but again, the silver mask is a little RenFair. But we could get away with a little drama since it's Halloween, couldn't we? I don't know. It's just an idea.

inspired yet?

Okay, this is NOT an inspiration board...this is just something I made up in about five minutes with sloppy Photoshop (sorry Paul, I know it's embarrassing) just to see if I could live with tan suits in my life...erm, I mean wedding. Because My Wedding Is Not My Life. It is a small, small part of my life. A small part of my life that could actually look SUPER cute.
I think you're all right. Tan suits will fix the "too much brown!" problem. But tan suits really mean my dress has to be super casual. Hm. Need to go dress shopping.
(Brown dress by J.Crew, shrug by Newport News [with an orange photoshop filter], wedding dress by -sigh- Stephanie James, suit by Men's Wearhouse)

another suit option, bride style

We could also go grey. This is mainly because I have decided that purple WILL be in this wedding and purple and grey are soooooo pretty together. Purple and grey would straight up be my palette if we were getting married any other day of the year. Mmmmm. Unfortunately we are not getting married any other day of the year, we are getting married on Halloween goddamit, and that means we have to take things into consideration. For instance, on February 5th or whatever this suit would just be plain sexy:But on October 31st it could look like we are trying to re-enact the Nightmare Before Christmas. Such is the burden we shoulder here at the Hallowedding. What do you think? Tan, grey, super expensive brown?

SUITS! ALSO, PROPS!

Sorry for the title, but I guess I feel obligated to carry on Shannon's unflagging enthusiasm. Anyhow, I'm here to get some responses on the suits I've been looking at.

It turns out that brown tuxedos are not exactly the most popular things on earth. They seem to be getting a bit of a resurgence, but the pickings are still slim. So let me preface this post by saying that if you happen to run into a suit that I've missed in this post, please let us know about it. But let us begin.

The first option is from Men's Wearhouse. It's a Versini wool suit, so there isn't a lot of flash to it. Here's some pictures.

One thing I like about this option is the simplicity. It has a casual feel to it, which perfectly matches with the 50's courthouse vibe that we're looking for. It's not a tuxedo, which is honestly a draw for me, and it would pair with our chosen colors of orange, purple, and red (red for me) really well. The pinstripe is subtle but still noticable, and the color is perfect.
This suit would probably go without a vest, if we go that route, and would look good with the chosen footwear for my side of the aisle.
Problem is, I can't rent it, since it's not a tuxedo. They're only $175 a piece though.

Next up is a more dressed-up number, but still casual. This is from Fubu, apparently, and I do like it a bit. It's less reserved and a bit more flashy, but not excessively so. A big part of this decision hinges upon Shannon's dress, so if that side of the equation ends up being somewhat modern, this suit could work really well. Also, since it's an actual tuxedo, I should be able to find it for rent, unlike option 1.
This suit would be much better, however, if the lapel fabric matched the rest of the suit. For this cut and style a contrast lapel doesn't make a lot of sense to me. But despite that, it's still a front-runner.


And last we have the maximum fancy option. This one is nice because it blends a classic cut with a modern fabric, and the contrasting lapel works for me in this case. But because it's a little out there, it may call too much attention to my side of the aisle. I want to look nice, but I'm beginning to see why people gravitate towards black suits, because other colors really can pull focus from where people should be looking: at the bride. This is another actual tuxedo, though, so I should be able to track it down for rental. The website I found it on, however, listed it in their Diamond collection, so it may not be cheap.
I'm also concerned about this suit given our other elements. The groomsmen will be wearing Chuck Taylors in a burnt orange or deep purple, while I'll be wearing red ones. Each of us will have vests and pocket squares to match. But this suit gives me the idea to maybe make the vest a complementary brown color while keeping the ties and squares bolder to match with the shoes. In any case, a suit in this style may not blend with casual footwear.

So yeah, there's my first bit of legwork on suits. As always with this blog, feedback is not only encouraged, but necessary. Otherwise this thing's going to be a fiasco!

Also, Shannon posted the first picture of the ring and mentioned that I might go a little more deeply into the symbolism of it in one of my posts. This is not the case, because it feels corny and I'm shy about it. But I do need to dispense some ring props.
First and foremost to Shannon's mom for providing the accent diamonds. Julie was going to give Shannon a necklace with these diamonds, but the jeweler never got the job done. So thanks to that jerk-off, too! But in all honesty, the stone that my modest means could afford would have looked very insignificant without those, and they lend a personal connection to the ring that I think is really important to Shannon.
Next up is to Paul Pape, for directing me to the jeweler, and then in turn to Custom Gems. I went there initially just to get the stone, but they also do custom jewelry orders. They have in-house jewelers to complete these orders, but the owner also has partners in Hong Kong. One of the samples they showed me was essentially a finger-mounted pagoda made out of diamonds and gold. It was a little intense for my budget and tastes, but it was really stunning work. Also, while I've vowed that Shannon will never learn the price of her ring, they did the work for about 25% of the cost quoted at another establishment, I believe largely due to the fact that I purchased the stone there and then came back to get the ring made. I really value that kind of loyalty and consideration, and you will not get that kind of treatment at Borsheim's or a similarly impersonal jewelry store. I should also add that the only reason the ring wasn't done in time for the proposal was because I was too late in arranging it, so don't hold that against them. They did a phenomenal job and I strongly recommend them to anybody. The place is small and tucked away in a little corner of a strip mall, but don't let that turn you off. They work hard and work well, and I admire that.

The Proposal and the Plan

Hey there again. I was initially going to edit this into the last post, but Shannon has already buried that under all sorts of different exuberances. So here's the breakdown of how I landed this pretty little lady as my very own.

For those of you not familiar with our history, here's some fast facts. If you know us, skip this paragraph and the next one. Shannon and I met as college freshmen. She was attending UNL, but one of my new UNO Theatre friends was one of Shannon's old high school friends. I was dating someone else at the time, but that soon fell to the side. Go figure. The first words Shannon ever heard me say were these: "Boy, humping ass all day sure makes a guy thirsty." Obviously, these were words to birth a legendary love story.

We officially started dating just under a year later when Shannon transferred to UNO for school, after a supposedly open but actually closed long distance period. I asked her out with a toothbrush. We moved in together just under a year after that into a terrible house. After three months passed we moved to a nice apartment and bought a Tivo. Another year and we moved into a not as nice apartment and adopted a dog. And then we moved into a house. And we live in a house with our best friends and our little dog.

So that's us the four years of us in a couple hundred words. Now to the good stuff.

To set the scene, Shannon is in Matt and Ben at the Omaha Community Playhouse. This is a two-woman show, and a very big deal for her. She's worked her little ass off to prepare for this role and it really shows. If you haven't seen it, do it.

But this year, her play coincided with a yearly tradition: The Pape Family Halloween Party. I got it in my head to propose at this party and to make her opening weekend just that much better. So I bought a diamond and ordered a ring in September, setting October 20th as the ideal deadline. And that was the day. On October 20th, we'd turn the corner.

Preparations included the following:
- Making Shannon believe that I was constructing a salty fisherman costume to compliment her mermaid costume.
- Actually arranging a different costume, that of the Burger King.
- Ordering a ring and purchasing a back-up if the real ring couldn't make the deadline.
- Ordering a custom-engraved iPod nano as Shannon's "raffle" prize.
- Commissioning a custom-carved pumpkin reading "Will you marry me?"
- Arranging for all involved players to be at the party and paid for at the appropriate time.
- Rigging the iPod nano raffle drawing with the Pape family so that Shannon's number would be called "at random."
- Doing all of this in utmost secrecy.
- Supporting Shannon through her tech week and opening weekend.

So yeah, a tall order. Unfortunately, due to the stress of everything else I may have dropped the ball on the last item, but the lady says I did okay. And everything else went perfectly.

Shannon had her play on the 20th. And her parents were in town to see it. This almost derailed things, as her mom wanted to take her out for drinks afterwards. I made a surreptitious phone call and arranged for her mom instead to come to the party and witness the engagement. I'd already asked for her dad's blessing, so that was lined up and we'd be having brunch with them in the morning.

I didn't sleep much the night of the 18th or at all on the 19th. I kicked myself for falling into the standard trap of being nervous about this, having even the tiniest second thought. I felt like I was living a cliche and that pissed me off. But I still completed all my tasks aside from the sleeping one. That, however, is nothing new to me. And at least my mp3s are now obsessively organized!

On the 20th I swung into action, preparing all of the last minute things. The most hectic was making Shannon think that I was putting together a fisherman costume while running around all day to finish assembling the Burger King one. The ring wasn't done on the 20th, so the stand-in was prepared in a proper box. Directions and schedules were distributed to all involved parties, from the Papes to Shannon's mom to Ben, my point man for getting Shannon to the party after her show. I left the house at 7:00 to get to the party.

The rest of the Burger King costume was ready for me at the Papes'. It is at this point that I should extend the deepest gratitude to Paul Pape and his family for their role in this, particularly his mom, Gidget. She carved a beautiful pumpkin for me that had an unassuming smiling face on one side and a proposal on the back. It's plastic, too, so we can keep it around forever. I owe her such a giant favor for that. Paul also arranged for the raffle with his dad and brother, and his dad bought additional raffle items to give away to make the plan even more secretive and. Paul's younger brother loaned me the Burger King costume elements which he had worn last year. And even Paul's aunt got Shannon and the her mom in the door at the right time (and with the right raffle number) which was the crux of the plan. I owe them everything, they rule.

I spent the two hours before Shannon's arrival in a sort of quietly vibrating anticipation. I tried to chat with other friends at the party, but the only thing in my mind was making sure everything was executed flawlessly. It was all timing, really. I had to know when Shannon was leaving our house to anticipate her arrival. I had to offset this arrival with her mother's entrance so that Julie wouldn't be in the barn until the raffle was being announced. And I had to be moving through the crowd at the right time so that I'd be silently arriving on one knee, pumpkin and ring in hand.

And timing was my friend that night. It all worked perfectly.

Here I am as I'm turning the propumpkin around. Shannon's just won the iPod she wants, so she's already happy enough. Paul and his brother are in back, Paul diligently filming the whole thing. Video will be coming later.


And here we are after she's said yes. Well actually, "FUCK YES!"
You know, I always hoped I'd propose within a foot's distance of an old pirate.



And of course, the kiss. We don't kiss in public very much, but I think it was warranted. Move along now, nothing to see here.






So now we're engaged. It doesn't feel very different, it's just that there's a new stress hanging over our heads. But the nice thing is that it's a very fun and exciting stress. It's kind of like MegaChristmas or something. Still a year away, but on our minds every day of the week. It's really important to us to have a very awesome wedding, but the real treat is the countless years after that. We'll have a fun party and all that, but then I get to be married to this gifted, beautiful, smart, hilarious, simply marvelous person. For forever. And that's about as rad as it gets.

Anyhow, I probably won't be posting here as much as Shannon, but I will make my presence known. Each of us has a big project to do in each of the upcoming months, so I'll keep you posted on what I'm working on and how it's coming. And it should be known that I'm not going to be a slouch of a groom. I'm hitting lots of websites and learning all sorts of things, but I'm obviously still new at this. If you read my posts and think I'm doing something completely wrong, let me know. November's project is determining the venues for the ceremony, reception, and rehearsal dinner, as well as the guest list for these events. We'll be asking all of our respective people to be in the wedding party, to be the one to marry us, sing, play music, etc. We'll be tackling that project together to set the foundation for all of the other ones. My December project is the Save-the-Date, which I hear can legitimately be called STDs. HA! But honestly, I can't wait to knock those out. They're going to be epic.