dress fitted, mind changed, f bombs dropped

This post is FULL of profanity. I apologize.

I know I've been absent. Ironically enough, if you are actually doing wedding stuff, or your wedding is rapidly approaching (fifty seven days....shit) then you don't have time to blog about your wedding, what you've been planning, or how it's rapidly approaching.


But you all keep me accountable so...let's blog this thing.


First of all, I had a second Hastings super wedding weekend. This weekend was significantly less fun than the last weekend, mostly because people either reminded me at how far behind I am at this wedding thing (thanks) or made the wedding planning harder in various ways (again, appreciated) but I'm not going to let this get me down. I am a wedding planning machine, motherfuckers. You do not want to mess with this engaged lady. I have shit I need to do.
That is another reason why it took me so long to post.
But I digress. Obvs.

I had a dress fitting. Yay! I can't post pictures on here because I want to keep that at least SLIGHTLY under wraps, at least from Greg, but I can show you my face when I first put my dress on:
That is a look of joy and a deep love for pretty things that now belong to me.

Once I got over the initial giddiness of being in my Wedding Dress, I saw myself in the big mirror and it was...interesting. I love my dress, still. I just had one of those little diva moments when I looked at myself in a dress that was actually mine and freaked out a little when it didn't look like the dress I had tried on before...probably because this one was probably three sizes bigger. I needed a bigger dress because I am a big girl on top (not just big busted, but big waisted and big ribbed) but I'm pretty small in the hip area, so what had previously looked like a modified mermaid now looked like a big off-white tube and I was. Not. Happy. However once they got me all pinned up I was happily back into mermaid territory and that crisis was averted.

That crisis. Then we go to my hair piece. Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.
See those under eye circles? Those weren't there before they put that thing on my head. But it is very pretty, I will give you that.

So let's just break it down for a moment: I am with the design camp that is currently very popular that loves little birds and branches and leaves and deer and etc etc etc. So when we first went to the shop, in May, and I saw a pretty little headband that looked like the branch of a very sparkly tree that wrapped around the head, I thought "ooooooh pretty."
My sister also thought "ooooooh pretty" and I tried it on. We decided to order it as well when we ordered my dress. And then we drove away.
And the moment we drove away from the store I thought...do I want that headband, really?
And then I fretted over the damn thing for like four months.
First of all, they didn't let me take a picture of it, or give me the item number, so I was going strictly from memory about how the thing actually looked, which made trying to find co-ordinating jewelry a bitch. It was also gold, which made silver jewelry pretty much a no go. And it's very sparkly, which could lead to overkill of bling. It also eliminated the addition of feathers to my hair for the reception, which I had been toying around with and had really liked the idea. Also I worried about my hair, and how it would affect that.
'So I will say I was a little apprehensive. I thought that once I saw it and could try it on again things would get better. They didn't.
Look how happy I am. Oh no wait...this is my "flipping out on the inside" face. There were some issues with the headband.

First of all they didn't order me a head piece, they pulled it off the shelf. I am fine with sample items, but this one had been a-bused and was showing the wear and tear, and they had charged us full price. Some of the leaves and sparklies were hanging on by strings of hot glue. So that made me less than happy. Secondly, whenever it touched my hair it became instantly tangled, which would make it impossible to adjust any part of my hair style on the wedding day.

Finally I just didn't like the way it made me look. I couldn't make myself like it.

But I didn't let on that it wasn't working, because that's just not my style. I didn't want to disappoint my mom and sister, who had helped me pick it out. I didn't want the very nice ladies at the Bridal Isle to think I was being a diva bitch. I didn't want to put anyone out. Usually at this point I swallow my misgivings and just take one for the team.

Then I looked at myself in the mirror and thought "But it's MY WEDDING."

And that kicked it. I took the headband off. I found myself a big pair of earrings and I put them on and I said, this is what looks good on me. Big ass earrings. And everyone agreed. Even the lady who was supposed to sell me the hundred dollar headband.

But of course I'm still a pussy, so I was going to take the headband anyway, but my AMAZING SISTER earned her Mrs OH status in about five minutes by forcing me to speak up and getting them to give us a refund. I love that bitch sometimes.

So I guess the moral of this story is, in a world where the word "bridezilla" is thrown around a lot, sometimes you have to say "It's my special day, motherfucker! And I'm gonna do what I want!" As long as you say that part quietly to yourself. Outloud you say, "Excuse me? I don't think this is going to work out" and just say "motherfucker" with your eyes. It'll get you far, and it'll save you a hundred bucks.


SOooooo, any suggestions for huge ass earrings? My ears are now available.

couture for your butt

I know that like every wedding blog in existence has covered something like this, but I wanted to post something and I think this is very interesting...but that might just be because I'm a sewing nerd.
You may have seen this on CNN or even Boing Boing last spring--I, of course, read about it on the wedding blogs because it occupies my life--but the dress above is made of toilet paper. It is surprisingly gorgeous, given the fact that paper makes a lousy fabric (I know from experience--my patterning final was a wedding dress made out of overnight envelopes and bubble wrap...I called it the "mail order bride" and it gave me a ulcer the size of a mango)

Anyhoo, everyone oohed and ahhhed over it but...I'm kinda bummed that this dress got so much coverage. Because as beautiful as it is, lots of toilet paper dresses exist out there and many of the lesser known ones aren't impressive for dresses made of toilet paper...they are impressive period, and I kinda wish they were really fabric and really on my body.

The winner of the cheap chic toilet paper dress contest this year, a surprisingly fitting mermaid:

Impressive, but not so much as the same site's 2006 second place
(she was totally robbed, obvs)

Yeah, these are pretty. The people who entered these contests are INCREDIBLY talented.

But Cashmere toilet paper doesn't have "contests" with people at home making tp dresses...they hire designers to make dresses out of toilet paper. Obviously some high quality tp--it's called cashmere, like the overpriced sweaters, only it's paper, and it's for your butt--oh, no wait, this is just Cottonelle but in Canada. Silly Canadians. But you got to admit THESE ARE SOME GODDAMN BEAUTIFUL DRESSES.





Toilet paper. That is TOILET PAPER.
The above are from designers, but apparently they also held a scholarship contest for design students in Montreal and Toronto, which blogger won't let me share, but they can be gawked at here.

I just wanted to share, to spread the flabbergasting around.

DRESS FITTING

My dress is in!

I was hoping when we planned our trip back to the homesteads that it would somehow magically coincide with my dress's arrival and it TOTALLY WORKED! All my crazy wishes are now justified and going to come true, I just know it (so I look forward to Jesse Thorne attending my wedding).

One funny thing though--when I called to make the appointment for my fitting, the call ended with the woman saying "Don't forget to bring your shoooooes!" in the exact same words, tone, and inflection my mother uses every time we have talked about my fitting.

Weird.

heartbreak

As the months tick by and the wedding gets closer, many of the planning elements of this wedding are done. Vendors are secured, decisions are made, stuff is ordered and set into place. Basically, the last few months before the wedding come down to execution and second guessing.

I waver a bit on my ability to execute plans but when it comes to second guessing myself I am becoming a stone cold expert.

Even though I have a very particular wedding aesthetic that I'm happily sticking to, I have second guessed pretty much every element of this wedding. Am I sure I want cupcakes? Are these bridesmaid dresses okay? Am I really getting married on Halloween?

These questions are silly, because I love the wedding I'm planning. It feels right to me. Sometimes I just get sidetracked by pretty pictures.

But there is a recent temptation that I just can not get out of my head, that has me questioning my own feelings alternatingly cursing fate for not finding it in time and kicking myself for even considering re-considering.

That is...my dress.

Don't get me wrong...I love my dress. I love it. It gave me all those mystical ooh-ahhhh feelings that they tell you about in the magazines. It makes me feel beautiful and skinny and sexy and the thought that soon I will be able to put it on in a fitting makes my heart beat a little faster. I tried on A LOT of dresses, and that was the only one to make me feel that way.
I. Love. That. Dress.
But sometimes, deep in my heart, I still have a longing for the short dresses.

I often talked about the short dresses, longed for the adorable designer options, and even tried on a few, but none the options available to me either weren't affordable or didn't feel right. I thought it wouldn't be, it couldn't be, and as much as I wanted to be able to see my shoes and sport a bright orange petticoat, I decided to give up the ghost and look at "regular" dresses. Luckily for me I was able to find a long dress that made me feel like a bride.

But then that goddamn Miss Shortcake, who lives to tease torment me with her fashion sense and good ideas, wrote a post today about Dolly Couture.
For the price of a mid-range David's Bridal gown, I could've had a ready to order adorable shortie dress, begging for a birdcage veil and a cute pair of shoes. This one is called the "Hastings on the Hudson" which is lacy perfection, but "Edmonton"....ohhhhhh edmonton......
HOW HARD COULD I HAVE ROCKED THIS DRESS?
It kinda sorta makes me want to cry.

I need to have a fitting for my actual dress soon. I think in the case of clothes, absense is making the heart grow distant, and all these pretty dresses are just a little too much temptation to stand.

bridesmaids: soon to be ACHIEVED

Thanks for the bridesmaid dress input, both in the comments and in personal discussion. I have decided that we should go with the Alfred Angelo Separates, and, at the brilliant suggestion of the O.H's, bridesmaids will get to choose amongst the tops and the two skirts (because AA offers TWO tea lengths. Gotta love it.)
All I need to do tomorrow is check and make sure that I want his color "grape" over "eggplant"...because eggplant is a darker purple I thought that was where I was supposed to go, but on the internet eggplant looks almost navy. A quick trip to my local bridal shop will clear that up quickly and we can get these babies ordered!
I really like this idea because then there's some unity (all tea length with pleated tops) but they can choose either a fuller or more narrow skirt, and the three tops each have a very distinct look. They can choose what looks the best on them or what they may wear again...if they need a pleated orange top, of course.
(The collage above is just a guess of what it could be, but I'm sure it will look much cooler in real life...but check out the font. Pretty sweet, yeah?)

Bridesmaid Dresses

or, alternately:
SHIT.
or, third title option:
Bride Lesson: Stop Assuming Things Will Make Sense
and last but not least:
Please Help Me.

Let's go back that beautiful moment in Loomis when I realized that I was actually wearing the dress in which I would be married. It was a lovely moment. Things were in place. We decided while we were there that we should maybe look into bridesmaid dresses and have my sister (the Mrs-0-H) try on a few of the styles and colors I had been considering so we could see those colors next to my dress because, you know, it all goes around the dress.
Getting married is a very selfish endeavor.
Well it turns out I was once again wrong about what I wanted for this wedding. Or I suppose "Ignorant to the Beautiful Possibilities" is a nicer way to say it. I said I wanted a short, simple dress, and I end up with a long, elegant, pleated to within an inch of its life confection of dress perfectitude. I also thought I wanted plain brown dresses for the bridesmaids, possibly bought from an online source like jcrew, overstock.com, or even Target. I figured brown was a nice neutral safe ground and would maximize re-wearability.
But then I realized, when I actually had Jessie trying on dresses next to my dress, that I had forgotten that I have really beautiful bridesmaids with lots of personality, and that neither of those things were being represented by "brown." So I decided to shake things up a bit and go back to a color scheme that I had briefly considered: purple and orange. Or, as we later discovered, "Grape" and "Sienna." These colors are really gorgeous together, are Halloween and Fall themed without making one gag, and lucky for me, I have two bridesmaids that will look brilliant in burnt orange and three that will glow in dark purple. Once we got down to the swatches, clearly the perfect colors were made by Alexia designs. They didn't have any dresses that really thrilled me in the store, but they gave me a website address where I could view all their styles. I went, I looked, and I was unimpressed...until I chanced a click on their separates collection, where I found this:


I really love this dress. The pleating on the top hollas back to my dress while also offering a little tummy camouflage (I figure if my dress lets me stick it out all the way, why not theirs?) I also loved the idea of separates because my maids are all different sizes and I didn't want them to spend an arm, a leg, and a sleepless night over alterations. It seemed perfect!
Until I emailed for a quote and it turns out they don't make tea-length skirts for their separates.
THIS MAKES NO SENSE TO ME WHATSOEVER, especially since most of their bridesmaid dress styles are available in tea-length and it's like the most popular style at the moment.
So I had to look somewhere else, where the colors are not "Grape" and "Sienna." (which, not to have a total bride moment, but other colors of burnt orange and dark purple are not the same. Boo hoo hoo. Poor me.)

I remembered Jessie trying on an Alfred Angelo at the store. I liked their purple color better, but the orange was just a little more orangey than I liked. But I would rather have "slightly orangey" than no orange at all, and I found out he has a separate line WITH TEA-LENGTH SKIRTS. As one OUGHT TO HAVE. Suck it, Alexia.Their separate line has several super cute options that add pleats and visual interest:





The only problem I have with their line is that in the virtual simulator the skirt seems to be a slightly lighter color than the tops. I'm not sure if this actually bothers me or not. Probably not. There's also a dress or two, although I'm not entirely willing to give up on the separates:
So I thought, let's go with Alfred Angelo then. These are pretty cute!


But then I was reminded today by one of my fabulous fellow costumer friends that if I really liked the Alexia ones, the skirts could probably just be chopped off by a skilled seamstress and it wouldn't look to funky. So now I'm totally torn.

Alexia pros: The orange is a prettier, more sophisticated color, and I think Alexia is slightly cheaper than Alfred Angelo. It also has the most structured pleating, and the skirt seems to match colors almost perfectly. And, here's a big one, Alexia is carried by net bride, so girls who couldn't find a salon or wanted a discount could order online through them.

Alfred Angelo pros: We wouldn't have to worry about someone butchering the bottom skirt because it would be the proper length. Alfred Angelo is also a lot easier to find in salon if not on net bride. Also I think the pleats on the first top pictured above look the most like the ones on my dress.

Please give input, ESPECIALLY if you're one of the bridesmaids in question...this has to be decided SOON!

But just so you can see I'm not crazy, check out how pretty the colors will look together:

THE DRESS, Part 3: Patience Rewarded

I believe the words you are looking for are "oooh" and "ahhhhh"

Those pleats? Those pleats make me look really skinny. They are my new best friends.


BUTTONS!

I must've seen pictures of this dress a million times, but I never bookmarked it or considered it in any way. This should teach us all a valuable lesson in keeping an open mind. And that sometimes, bridal dress consultants do have your best interest at heart.

THE DRESS, Part 2: The Dress That Totally IS

THIS IS GOING TO BE REALLY SAPPY AND LONG SO EITHER DON'T READ IT OR LEARN TO DEAL WITH IT.

So, the first round of shopping was a total bust. It was such a bust that I didn't really want to try on any more dresses, and put no further effort into finding a wedding dress. This was a problem, because the wedding dress is a cornerstone of the wedding, just like your colors and your season. Without the bride's dress, you can't pick out bridesmaid dresses. You can't pick out tuxes. You're not even supposed to pick out flowers. You find that dress and everything else kind of falls into place.
Or so they say. I have recently found this to be true.
Anyway, my mom suggested we try again, but not in Omaha. She had been hearing from everyone and their dog that if you wanted THE dress, you should go to Loomis or Aurora.

"What's a Loomis?" you ask. "Is that a fancy bridal boutique I am not aware of?" No, friends. Loomis is a very very tiny town outside of Kearny, and Aurora is outside of Lincoln. They are small towns that, legend has it, have amazing bridal stores.

Okay, I said, but in my brain I was thinking Loomis? I'm supposed to find my dress in Loomis? Maybe for you guys from Grand Island and Hastings Loomis is the bee's pajamas, but I've got like seven bridal stores in Omaha.

That's right, I put on airs, and huffed around, and thought it probably wouldn't work out. I thought I was too good for Loomis. I apologize, Loomis. I was wrong.

So I arranged to go back to town for a long weekend, longer than I think I was home for Christmas, even, and we'd go to Loomis and Aurora, and then Grand Island and Kearny if necessary. Because we needed to find a dress right away. Time is running short. They say it takes about four months to ORDER a dress. I'm getting married in six.

So I came home. I bought a new, better strapless bra. We make appointments at the shops that take appointments, my mom and sister take vacation days, and we set out for Loomis on Friday morning. As we were driving I kind of had a feeling like I was going to cry. I didn't know if it was excitement or dread. I decided to try on EVERY style, every color, every cut...I would find something. I had to.

We get totally lost on the way there. TOTALLY lost. You have to cut through another tiny town and take a gravel driveway to get there. And then when we DO get arrive, it is BRIGHT PINK, with palm trees on it. Because it is called "The Bridal Isle." Like, an island. In the middle of Nebraska. We walk in and it has red and purple shag carpeting and inside the dressing rooms there are those really low ceilings with the panels like you have in your basement. There is also a sign that says ABSOLUTELY NO PICTURES.

Oh my god, I thought. What have I agreed to?

A lady comes to greet us and takes my information. Then she gestures to a large wall of dresses. There's a pretty good selection...probably the same number as the Bridal Gallery in Omaha.
"This is wall one," she says. "Pick six or seven dresses you'd like to try on, just to get started."
Wall one? I look around the corner and there are even more dresses...racks and racks of dresses. We are talking DB selection here, people. And almost everything is in my size because this is central Nebraska and around here girls like beef. Woo hoo!

Once we made our "first round picks," they grab me a dressing room and assign me an attendant, Ann. And then they tell my mom and sister to take a seat because Ann will be helping me get dressed. WHAT? I know I'm in theatre but...it was a little like that scene from Fame. You know the one I'm talking about. I was so weirded out she had to remind me to take off my jeans. Oh. Right. No pants under dresses. RIGHT.
After awhile though, it wasn't such a big deal. I chilled in my bra and panties and the platform high heels they gave me to try on with dresses. Kind of made me feel like a model to tell you the truth.

So, okay, that feeling? THE feeling I was talking about? The rumors are true. You do get a feeling when you put on the right wedding dress. You kind of tear up a little bit and you smile all the time, and you think "I'm really getting married. Holy shit." And you're just so fucking HAPPY about it you can't even take it. It's like that. Things click in your head. It seems stupid and totally like a ploy to get you to spend money but it's true.

What they don't tell you, but I think they should, is that you can get that feeling more than once. It's NOT like a soul mate. There isn't one dress out there for you, there are probably like a dozen. This comforts me. What if THE dress wasn't carried in your local bridal shop? That would suck right? But you CAN find it, I promise. I know, because I found three.

Three dresses that made me tear up and say "Ohhhhhhhhh...I'm a bride." And this is why I'm sad I couldn't take pictures, because I wish I could show you these dresses, the ones I didn't get but still gave a little of my heart to. (See, more of the sappiness. Ah, love)

The first dress we will refer to as "Princess Puff." There is a little added twinge of affection for Princess Puff because it is the first dress I got The Feeling for. When Ann zipped it up I just started saying "I really like this one. I really like this one" which in stoic Shannon speak is "AHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Princess Puff made my mom cry. Twice. She said it looked like what a little girl would draw for her wedding dress. It was strapless and the bodice was pleated (PLEATS) and it went a little farther down on one side than the other (causing us to also refer to this dress as "the asymmetrical one") and had a little over skirt that was also asymmetrical that fell over the ENORMOUS underskirt, which was all glittery and sparkly. It had embroidery of flowering branches over one side of the bust and one side of the waist. It was very, very princessy, and I looked like a million bucks.
As I said, my mom cried. My sister said "I think it's a 9...it would be a ten but it didn't make me cry."
We had to try on more dresses. But as I went to take off the dress I said "I just want to make it clear that I really like this one."
The next dress I loved my mom pulled because of the color--it was a light golden brown sparkly mermaid dress and around the bottom there were PLEATS. PLEATS, YOU GUYS. Beautiful pleats that I had to kick through to walk. The color was absolutely gorgeous. The whole ensemble seemed very Halloweeny. Like it would set the tone for the whole event. The sample was a little small, but I could imagine myself in one that fit. And in my imagination that girl looked GOOD.
A debate began. The color was phenomenal, but it wasn't as bridey. The other one seemed a little less...well, slutty... but was way more princessy. Also, pleats. My heart was torn.
Ann brought me back another few options, which worried me. I worry when salespeople bring me stuff, especially since I work in retail. You're supposed to sell the expensive stuff. That's just business. But I tried it on anyway.
I don't know if I've mentioned it, but Anne is my new favorite person.
It was gorgeous. A sign of Ann's bridal genius was that it was an exact combination of the two dresses I already loved. It had the pleated bodice and asymmetrical skirt of the Princess Puff but the simplicity of the mermaid, and was sort of a mermaid cut but still comfortable. Also, I think the whole ensemble weighs about ten pounds, max. Oh, and straps, so I don't have to worry about my dress falling down. Oh, and BUTTONS ALL DOWN THE BACK. Mmmmmm.
She zipped it up and my lip quivered a little bit.
I tried on all three AGAIN, just to be sure, but the third one had it. I had narrowed it down to three based on emotion, so for final elimination I went with logic. The first one was just too fluffy. Even bustled the back would stick out several feet, making dancing difficult and using the bathrooom completely impossible. The mermaid was flat down the front and I tend to have a tummy, so I wouldn't feel comfortable in it even if I lost a bunch of weight.
My sister also made a very nice observation about the third one--it was simple and it makes me look like a pretty girl, not a girl in a pretty dress, if that makes sense

(Actually, she said "Lots of glitter is camouflage uglier girls" but I thought I'd nice it up a bit)

My mom and Ann went off to look at head pieces and I said, "Jessie, I think I'm going to pull a ten..." and then I cried a little bit. But that was okay.
And then I thought,
"Shit. How much does this dress cost? I had decided on a dress and I didn't look at the price tag? What the hell is my problem? My mom is paying for my dress and I don't want her to spend a lot. Also I have horrible guilt problems, and I don't want to spend so much money on something that is exclusively for me, that I'll only use once..."
And of course, Ann had pulled it. The lady who would get commission from the dress. I had seen a dress similar to this one that was on Rack One for $1500 (hence me not trying it on even though it had a jacket) and I thought oh no, oh no, please don't let it be more than $1500...shit shit shit...

I pulled out the tag.

And it
was
the CHEAPEST GDAMN DRESS I HAVE TRIED ON IN THIS WHOLE DAMN PROCESS. I'm talkin' cheaper than the DB. CHEAP.

She pulled me a CHEAPER dress? WHAAAAAAAAAAT?

Have I mentioned that I love Ann? I totally love Ann. Ann might be an angel. I haven't ruled it out.

After deciding on the dress we took measurements and had a surreal moment when we had to decide between white, ivory, creme or gold--which are all just WHITE, and look exactly the same, but we still took time to decide--and I also picked out my bridesmaid colors and a really kick ass head piece comb thingy. And everything else is falling into place. The dress is the cornerstone, as I have said. And I didn't have to go to Aurora! Win win win.

So go to the Bridal Isle, and don't judge books by their covers, and have faith in taffeta. It will all turn out okay.

THE DRESS, Part 1: The Dresses That Weren't

Note: I acknowledge that some people do not give half a damn about the experience of buying the dress and they just want to see PICTURES of the damn thing. So I'm going to post the whole story in a post or two and pictures above and you can look at one, both, or neither, depending on you cynicism and hatred of love and all things pretty. And how much I may have already told you to your face.

Okay, so the overly long story:

I realize that I never actually mentioned how our first wedding weekend went, all the way back in January, when my mom and sister came up and we went to a bunch of dress shops and a bridal fair.
I won't waste your time with the bridal fair...I wish I hadn't wasted my time with the fair either. All I got out of it were some tuxedo possibilities, the consideration of chair covers, and a bunch of unnecessary emails to my wedding email address.
But we did do dress shopping. Ohhh, did we do dress shopping.
I had gone shopping before, very early in the wedding process, but that experience had sucked, frankly, do to poor customer service/lack of my own enthusiasm. This time would be different, I decided, because we would really TRY to find something. And I thought we WOULD find something.
That weekend.
I was sure of it.
This was January, I'd like to point out. Four months ago.
Ashley (the Miss-0-H) was going to come but then she had to work, so just the Jackson girls (the Ma-o-B and the Mrs-o-H) set off on the magical fairy princess dress adventure. First, we went to Bridal Traditions on Pacific St. It took us a while to find it because it was in a strip mall, and we drove by it a couple of times until my mom finally noticed that it said "tuxedo rentals" on the side. The ladies at Bridal Traditions were very, very nice. My only beef would maybe be that they don't make appointments, so I think I waited half an hour for a fitting room. But that just gave us more time to sort through dresses.
Most of the dresses I tried on at Bridal Traditions were posted here, with the intention that I would talk about them later...which I am. It's just been months and months and nobody cares anymore.



The first dress we tried on was supposed to be a joke dress. We'd pulled it off one of the dummies because my sister said it'd be neat to see me in a mermaid dress. According to my body type, most bridal magazines and websites said I should be in a mermaid dress, but I'm not a wee person and I can be pretty self conscious. But I thought it'd be fun to see. We weren't going to actually consider it because it was over three times what I wanted to spend.
Here's a tip...don't try on really expensive dresses because they tend to be really, really pretty. Turns out those bridal magazines know their shit. I do look really good in mermaids.




Although that dress (which my family thereafter referred to as The Expensive Dress) looked REALLY good, I didn't get any strong feelings off of it other than "PRETTY" and "SOFT" and "THIS LACE MUST COST A FORTUNE PER YARD." I didn't think "MINE." And that's the feeling I wanted off my dress. Especially if it will cost me the down payment of a new car.

(However, as the months passed and I realized that I had to order a dress pretty much right away, I started reconsidering a lot of things, like the fact that maybe that feeling doesn't exist, or maybe it just doesn't exist for me. So I reconsidered at this dress, also from Bridal Traditions, which wasn't a big contender when I tried it on, but made me look really pretty in pictures. And I'm super vain like that.)


I would like to say that, except for the wait, the whole Bridal Traditions experience was VERY positive. They learned my name, they seemed to give honest advice about the dresses. Their dressing rooms were enormous and they let my mom and sister in to help me (and then my family could deal with the Worst Strapless Bra Ever). It really was a beautiful experience. I really appreciated that that was the first place I went dress shopping with my mom and sister, because it was very classy, comfortable, and nice. It made me feel a lot like a bride.

AND THEN WE WENT TO DAVID'S BRIDAL.

My mother HATED David's Bridal, and I've got to say, my experience there wasn't super positive. Now, I'm not a snob. I know a lot of beautiful dresses that have come out of David's Bridal, I have seen brides rocking the DB and looking like fairy princesses. It's not about the dresses. It's the experience. Maybe I went on a bad night, but we were given no help finding dresses (luckily I know my own size), the girl who was supposed to be helping me ignored most of my questions and didn't understand basic dress terminology, the lighting was terrible and unflattering and the dressing rooms are smaller than ones I've been in department stores. There was no room for people to come in and help me, luckily I was only trying on shorties and mermaids at this point because if I'd brought in a big poofy dress there would not have been room for me. My mom calls it the Dress Warehouse. I think it still gives her nightmares.

But, I do have to hand it to them, they had a lot of short dresses, which is what I really wanted.Had we not had Wedding Weekend II: Planning Extreme, and I hadn't shopped for other dresses, I probably would've gone with the above dress, without the jacket. It was simple, made me look cute, and if I wanted to wear it with a cardigan (which I so would have) and added an orange petticoat for the reception, it wouldn't have minded. It was easy like a Sunday morning.

Here are some other DB picks...I apologize for the incredibly ugly pictures...we had no digital camera with us at the time, and my scanner is broken, so I'm taking pictures of pictures. Eww. Maybe when all is fixed and done I'll do a big montage board of all the dresses I tried on.Cute, but too "spring." I, however, look really adorable.


Lacey. I like lace. A lot. But I hated their jacket with it and I couldn't figure out what else I would wear with it.

A DB mermaid (this was a favorite of some). I thought it was pretty but not me AT ALL. Also, the fabric was weird and scratchy.

We left DB with the style number of the short dress with ribbon detailing. The price was right, I could see myself wearing it, I knew how to update it to make it more "me." But I hadn't had that feeling, you know? The one everyone tells you about the moment you say you're going dress shopping. "Oh, you'll just put it on and you'll know. You'll have THE feeling." THE feeling for THE dress. They always say THE dress. Like it's a bigger deal than the fiancee, almost.
Well, I still hadn't had THE feeling.

We had only one place left to go that first weekend, The Bridal Gallery. The BG is right by my house and they have a stop light right in front, so I stop in front of it on the way to work pretty much every day and I leer at the pretty dresses in the window. The people at BG are also very nice, and the experience is very good. I know a lot of people who got their dresses there, as well, and they looked phenomenal. Got to say, though, that they have less selection than the other places I went to.
This was our third dress shop, so we kind of knew the routine. We wanted short, if they had it (they didn't), we liked lace, and suddenly, over the course of like, a day, we were obsessed with mermaids.

This mermaid was very similar to the Very Expensive Dress, and was slightly cheaper. My mom said if we went with mermaid, we should go with this one.I don't remember being this enthused about that dress, but I look pretty damn excited, don't I?

This dress was VERY pretty. (and look at the mock-antiqueness of the pictures. That's unintentionally very cool looking) My mom and sister said this dress might be It. I know, the front doesn't look like much, but oh, friends, the back...
I have a hundred pictures of the back of this dress. I love the buttons. I love the lace. Don't love the fact that on this day I forgot the strapless bra and went with a dark green number. It kind of ruins the feeling. But trust me, it was gorgeous.
Again, a very pretty dress that I felt nothing about except "it's pretty." My mom wrote down the numbers of some dresses, in case we wanted to order them later, and wedding weekend ended, not with a bang but with a "Now what?" We were tired, discouraged, I had a nasty case of bead burn (sequins hurt, yo) and we didn't have a dress.
I tried. I had tried on a lot of dresses, all styles and prices, and nothing felt like it was mine. I wondered if I was too practical to have The Feeling for The Dress, and maybe I should just settle on whatever was cheapest, or looked the nicest. Lucky for me, I didn't settle. The Knot kept sending me emails informing me that I should be on my second fitting by now, and I told the knot to eat me. I ordered a dress disaster off ebay, I considered everything I saw in department stores that was under $200 that was white. I developed a white taffeta ulcer. But I waited...or procrastinated...and I found something that was pretty AND cheap, and gave me all those warm fuzzy feelings. Wanna see it?
Well, too bad. I'm gonna go eat lunch. BE PATIENT.

ebay dress: failed

So much to cover, but let's start with something I'm sure you've been wondering about: the ebay dress.
I could've blogged about the dress a long time ago...but it was a big ol' disappointment, and hallowedding is about happy things! Pretty things! And well, on me, that dress is neither.It just had no oomph, you know? I put it on and made that exact face, that "Ehhhhhhhhhh, no" face. (Recreated for your viewing pleasure! Notice the new haircut!) Not super flattering or super comfortable. Also, although I was thrilled to ORDER a vintage dress, I remembered when I put it on that "vintage" usually also means "delicate."
I think if someone wore this dress they would have to be very gentle and careful. On a daily basis I am rarely either of those things. And at my wedding, pssssssh, forget about it. The last thing I want on the most stressful...erm, I mean, wonderful day of my life is for my zipper to split when I'm shaking my money maker to Paradise by the Dashboard Light.
So I've decided when I have a moment to myself I will resell it on ebay or something. The disappointment of this dress--which was exactly what I had pictured my wedding dress looking like, so why didn't it work out? why? whyyyyy?---prompted me to plan WEDDING WEEKEND II: Planning Extreme. Where I found my actual dress that gives me warm fuzzies. Which I will talk about soon, once I find some more pictures. Be patient.

peachy won it!

Ebay has been redeemed! After losing the orange dress I was feeling a little defeated, frankly. I didn't want my heart to break again. And I thought, you know, you don't really want an ebay dress, a crazy control freak like you? Something you hadn't even tried on? A dress you've never seen? That would be CRAZINESS.
Then yesterday I found something really really pretty and that sort of went out the window.


So let's see it!



But, okay, this is NOT OFFICIALLY MY WEDDING DRESS. Understand? Mom and sister, don't cry because I bought my wedding dress on ebay. The measurements are a little...wee. The waist measurement is about two inches too small, but it should be fine with a few months of exercise and a nice pair of spanx. The bust measurement is also small, but I could maybe take it out? Or just squeeze and be super busty. So I bid like a madman on a dress that could potentially not fit because love makes us crazy, alright? If it looks like it won't fit over the world's most massive ribcage (mine) I will just resell it on ebay.



It was also lucky because I was in rehearsal when the bidding ended so I had a super massive "maximum bid" waiting in the wings...thanks to the other bidders for giving up!


I'm such a tease! Jesus.



So, without further ado, Dress Option A...there is not B at the moment but still, Option A:

It is made of lace and tulle, it's actually from the fifties, and has boning and accordion pleating...mmmmm.
It is he little ruffle modesty piece is going to go...I'm not big on "modesty."
Seller says it should be here in about a week and then I'll try it on! WHEE!

dang nabbit!

I have been skulking around ebay lately, looking at the pretty dresses. I've bid on a handlful of dresses that are NOT wedding, at all:And this one, which is too springy for a Hallowedding but still super cute:
But I did some SERIOUS bidding on this dress, thinking that it would be a fantastic reception dress. But damn me, I had a show this afternoon and couldn't sit at the computer, and they beat me BY A DOLLAR. Ebay you break my heart.
Look how orange!Petticoats!

I think I will continue down this path, but I also think I'll be a more defensive bidder. That orange dress going to someone else makes me sad. Especially for fifty one damn dollars.