dress fitted, mind changed, f bombs dropped

This post is FULL of profanity. I apologize.

I know I've been absent. Ironically enough, if you are actually doing wedding stuff, or your wedding is rapidly approaching (fifty seven days....shit) then you don't have time to blog about your wedding, what you've been planning, or how it's rapidly approaching.


But you all keep me accountable so...let's blog this thing.


First of all, I had a second Hastings super wedding weekend. This weekend was significantly less fun than the last weekend, mostly because people either reminded me at how far behind I am at this wedding thing (thanks) or made the wedding planning harder in various ways (again, appreciated) but I'm not going to let this get me down. I am a wedding planning machine, motherfuckers. You do not want to mess with this engaged lady. I have shit I need to do.
That is another reason why it took me so long to post.
But I digress. Obvs.

I had a dress fitting. Yay! I can't post pictures on here because I want to keep that at least SLIGHTLY under wraps, at least from Greg, but I can show you my face when I first put my dress on:
That is a look of joy and a deep love for pretty things that now belong to me.

Once I got over the initial giddiness of being in my Wedding Dress, I saw myself in the big mirror and it was...interesting. I love my dress, still. I just had one of those little diva moments when I looked at myself in a dress that was actually mine and freaked out a little when it didn't look like the dress I had tried on before...probably because this one was probably three sizes bigger. I needed a bigger dress because I am a big girl on top (not just big busted, but big waisted and big ribbed) but I'm pretty small in the hip area, so what had previously looked like a modified mermaid now looked like a big off-white tube and I was. Not. Happy. However once they got me all pinned up I was happily back into mermaid territory and that crisis was averted.

That crisis. Then we go to my hair piece. Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.
See those under eye circles? Those weren't there before they put that thing on my head. But it is very pretty, I will give you that.

So let's just break it down for a moment: I am with the design camp that is currently very popular that loves little birds and branches and leaves and deer and etc etc etc. So when we first went to the shop, in May, and I saw a pretty little headband that looked like the branch of a very sparkly tree that wrapped around the head, I thought "ooooooh pretty."
My sister also thought "ooooooh pretty" and I tried it on. We decided to order it as well when we ordered my dress. And then we drove away.
And the moment we drove away from the store I thought...do I want that headband, really?
And then I fretted over the damn thing for like four months.
First of all, they didn't let me take a picture of it, or give me the item number, so I was going strictly from memory about how the thing actually looked, which made trying to find co-ordinating jewelry a bitch. It was also gold, which made silver jewelry pretty much a no go. And it's very sparkly, which could lead to overkill of bling. It also eliminated the addition of feathers to my hair for the reception, which I had been toying around with and had really liked the idea. Also I worried about my hair, and how it would affect that.
'So I will say I was a little apprehensive. I thought that once I saw it and could try it on again things would get better. They didn't.
Look how happy I am. Oh no wait...this is my "flipping out on the inside" face. There were some issues with the headband.

First of all they didn't order me a head piece, they pulled it off the shelf. I am fine with sample items, but this one had been a-bused and was showing the wear and tear, and they had charged us full price. Some of the leaves and sparklies were hanging on by strings of hot glue. So that made me less than happy. Secondly, whenever it touched my hair it became instantly tangled, which would make it impossible to adjust any part of my hair style on the wedding day.

Finally I just didn't like the way it made me look. I couldn't make myself like it.

But I didn't let on that it wasn't working, because that's just not my style. I didn't want to disappoint my mom and sister, who had helped me pick it out. I didn't want the very nice ladies at the Bridal Isle to think I was being a diva bitch. I didn't want to put anyone out. Usually at this point I swallow my misgivings and just take one for the team.

Then I looked at myself in the mirror and thought "But it's MY WEDDING."

And that kicked it. I took the headband off. I found myself a big pair of earrings and I put them on and I said, this is what looks good on me. Big ass earrings. And everyone agreed. Even the lady who was supposed to sell me the hundred dollar headband.

But of course I'm still a pussy, so I was going to take the headband anyway, but my AMAZING SISTER earned her Mrs OH status in about five minutes by forcing me to speak up and getting them to give us a refund. I love that bitch sometimes.

So I guess the moral of this story is, in a world where the word "bridezilla" is thrown around a lot, sometimes you have to say "It's my special day, motherfucker! And I'm gonna do what I want!" As long as you say that part quietly to yourself. Outloud you say, "Excuse me? I don't think this is going to work out" and just say "motherfucker" with your eyes. It'll get you far, and it'll save you a hundred bucks.


SOooooo, any suggestions for huge ass earrings? My ears are now available.

for lack of a better post, hair

I was planning on doing a bridesmaid related post but I think that will take a long time, so I'm going to just do a post about hair for a second and then maybe get to the other later...the anticipation is killing you, I'm sure.
The hair style issue seemed a lot more pressing when I thought my first dress fitting was looming, but since recent estimates place the arrival of my dress at the END OF AUGUST (yes, this is upsetting to me. Yes, it is giving me an ulcer) I have a little more time to consider and get feedback and change my mind a million times.

I am not good at doing my own hair. I almost always have it tucked into a pulled up ponytail or twisted back into a forest of clips. If it's down it's usually in my way and I probably need a haircut. But I am pretty good at doing other people's hair out of necessity for my frequent wardrobe/costuming duties. On any other head I can find the proper placement of hot curlers and bobby pins to recreate period hairstyles and gravity defying spikes. So I'm pretty confident in my decision to not hire a hairstylist for my wedding. I am planning on doing my own hair, or at least directing my very talented sister and cousin on how I would like my hair to work.

So I've been considering my options. When we found my dress I had my hair in a big clip (Shannon Hair Staple #3) and we played with it up and down and half up and down. My mom is encouraging me to wear it down since my hair can be one of my best features, but I can't help but think of all the times I've tried to do my hair all pretty and then I ended up sticking my carefully dried and curled experiment into a clip and saying "fuck it." But for the wedding, I'm open to possibilities.

All I know is that I want curls...not for the romance, but for the volume. Here's a little costumer wisdom: if you want a hair style to stay, put the hair in hot curlers first. Or curl it with an iron and a lot of product. Bobby pins love to grab curls, and they make buns and chignons full and resilient. Also, if any little tendrils fall out they look romantic and intentional and not like big ol' mess.

Since I'll be having two dress fittings IN AUGUST AND SEPTEMBER, GRRRRRR I'm planning on doing my hair for both so I'll know exactly what it'll look like with The Dress. Then we'll probably do my hair every night of wedding week as practice.

Here are some examples from my inspiration bookmarks.

Wearing it down:
I'm not a big fan of the "curly hair and straight bangs" look because I worry that it'll date pictures, but this is a nice compromise. It looks very natural.
I really like the top two, especially the red, but I'm too lazy to separate the original image. Meh.
The ginger bridesmaid has gorgeous hair from the back, which I would like since, you know, that's what people will be looking at for a good half an hour of ceremony.
I looooove this one, and there really isn't any "style" to it. Just good curls pulled up with a pretty sweep and volume on top. I could do this. This would be very pretty on me, I think.

The Updo:

Anyone who reads this and actually sees me on a daily basis will probably laugh because these are for the most part just curly versions of how I wear my hair everyday. But I kind of like that idea. I know these styles look good on me, I'm capable of doing them, and well, I may be dressed up all fancy but I'm still me.
Oh, I love this one from Brides magazine. Pretty much this whole picture, the makeup, the earrings, the tendrils...I'm on board.

Sigh. This Jessica Alba hairstyle is so cute and pretty and very very "me," but it is very messy and...um...it looks exactly like my hair does as I post this, and my mother would probably kill me if I looked like I just woke up at my wedding.
But if this is how my hair looks after a lot of pictures and dancing I will be very, very happy.

Another option I only recently started to favor was the asymmetrical "side do." It would get the hair out of my face while still showing off the reds in pictures. My only issue would be that the hair piece is also asymmetrical. Would I have the branch swoop over the side with the bun, or the side without? Will this make me look off centered or dated? I dunno, but it's pretty.

The Side Do:

So what do you think? Which do you like best? Any suggestions?

for the casual wedding

My obsession with vintage weddings has sent me doing all sorts of crazy searches. I found the vintage hair archives and I thought, oh look! A wedding section! But maybe this is a little TOO advintageous (ha! New word!) and a little too quirky, even for our weird loving selves.