Monday, September 29, 2008

bachelorette party

So...I may have had my bachelorette party last Saturday. There may have been a limo. And a penis cake.
We were all very shocked by the penis cake, especially since it was made by one of the sweetest girls alive.

And a bag full of condoms with dares written on them (not pictured).
There was DEFINITELY booze. Siiiiiigh. Lots of booze. And some of my most favorites in the whole world.

I can't really imagine what is was like for the people who weren't me, or the girls in the limo. I'm talking about the british guys who made me do like four jello shots, everyone I drunk dialed (many of whom I have forgotten...yeah, sorry), and all the people who went to look at my e-ring and all they saw was a big ass spider.

I marvel at my ability to, at 1 in the morning, many many drinks to the wind, manage to look up a number in the phone book, dial, order a pizza, AND give a credit card number, but couldn't remember the address of the building (I used to live in it, that Miss Oh lives in now.) I believe the poor schmuck had to listen to a lot of "Oh hell, it's's on *this street* and *this street* okay? It's white? Or cream? There are dogs inside, okay? Apartment....five? Or six? Dammit where's Ashley?"
I want to thank everyone who worked together to make the night possible--I LOVED IT. It was everything a bach party oughtta be. There are more pictures roaming around in other people's cameras. We'll just see how those turn out.

(That is my drunk face, obvs.)

Friday, September 26, 2008

Groom's Ring

Those of you who know me are probably aware of the fact that I have a fairly simple aesthetic. I don't wear bracelets, watches, necklaces, really any accessories. Those of you who knew me in high school will find this surprising, but such is the case these days. At the end of the day I generally just flop into my bed, and my headphones are always dangling and getting unplugged, seemingly all day long. I'm not good with danglies, I suppose. So getting a ring is a tricky proposition.

We went to about a half a dozen jewelry stores to look at men's rings, try on the different metals, and get a picture of pricing. Luckily the mall in which Shannon works contains more than six jewelry stores, so it was all on one trip. On that trip I picked titanium as my metal of choice for my ring.

I know there are some risks with that. Titanium is one of the hardest and strongest materials in the world. If something were to happen to my hand while wearing my ring, the ring itself could not be cut off. They'd have to remove my finger. So that's a little scary. But I don't do a lot of dangerous work with my hands, and I can take my ring off if I ever do. The other thing is that you can never have a titanium ring resized. You just have to get a new ring milled. That is also fine. The ring is an important symbol, and I'll obviously always keep any wedding rings I own forever, but transitioning from one ring to another as my fingers chunk up over my lifetime isn't that bad.

My choice of titanium had threefold reasons. First of all, it's extraordinarily light. You can hold a titanium ring in your hand and it feels like almost nothing at all. As a non-accessorizer this appeals to me. Second, the balance of light and dark in titanium is perfect to me. It's not too gloomy, but it also isn't blinding, and it works with both black and brown based outfits. And lastly I've had a patch of irritable skin on my ring finger since childhood. Ominous, I know! And I've never been able to pursue my dream of being a professional left hand model! But in all seriousness, titanium is non-reactive and gentle on skin.

So here were the options, ending with my final choice.

The one with the red enamel stripe really appealed to me, but felt like a casual ring, not a lasting symbol of eternal love. The option with the flush set diamond is lovely, but a bit pricey for the moment. It really came down to the last two, and while I enjoy the brushed texture and sterling silver inlay, I really like they bare symbol of a plain round ring. I can always upgrade to a diamond or sterling-boosted model down the road, but as my first ring I really enjoy the simplest option. Also, we're ordering from Etsy because it's nice to support independent artists. This is, of course, not the first time you've seen that site featured on this blog, and I'm sure it won't be the last.

And that's that! That's the ring! I'm going to have it on my finger forever!


Thursday, September 25, 2008

invite breakdown

So, if you were sent an invite in the mail you probably already have seen all this stuff but humor me, okay? Maybe you'll learn something?

--Oh, and if you didn't get an invite in the mail, or you can't come, stay tuned for a special way we want you to be involved in the wedding...coming soon!--

So first we designed the invites...our main inspiration were vintage vaudeville and circus posters...something that conveyed an event that was fun but, at the same time, totally epic.

image source

image source

We made a mock up with the fonts we had on hand just to decide positioning, ratios, spacing, etc., then we downloaded probably a hundred or so fonts and then just got to playing, and this is what we came up with. (All the design was done in Photoshop...I know it's not as clean as other programs but it's what I know)
We printed the reception information on the back to cut down on paper waste

There was much debate about the reception information. Could we dictate the kind of costumes people wear? We're not requiring costumes for the reception, but I also didn't want people dressed like slutty nurses or grotesque monsters. I wouldn't really want that at any Halloween party I would throw, let alone my wedding. I think we found a nice (and very "us") way to say what needed to be said, and also imply that maybe you should save it for the least, if you're an adult.

Putting the registry information on there is a MAJOR no-no etiquette wise, and I understand why that rule exists. Yeah, it's kind of tacky. However, for really casual invitations, I don't think it's quite as bad. We received an invitation to a wedding last winter that had a little note on the back "the couple is registered at target but they also really enjoy shopping at world market and whole foods." We ended up getting them something from Target, but it was kind of nice to know another option and I did actually consider going to whole foods and making them like a huge basket of cheeses or something. Also, since most of our guests are from out of town, they don't know that every couple that gets married in Omaha is registered at Target. It seems so obvious to us, but I didn't want there to be confusion.
And, well, I am really tacky and I broke etiquette all over the place. So...meh.

We also wanted to include a map with the reception information both for out of town guests (pretty much all of our families) and for in town guests that have maybe never been to the Scoular before. It also let them know how close they would be to their hotel, in case they were worried about long commutes. Greg made up the grid of streets (including the hotel's logo, nice touch Greg!) and I used pictures of the venues to make paintings that guests can refer to if they're confused about which building is which (they're not very clearly marked).

Here's a close up of the painting of our ceremony venue...I recreated the building in the most basic shapes possible to make it easy to print and easy to read on a small invitation.
Once the invite design was finished we had it printed on plain kraft paper at Kinkos (classy wedding over here!) and they cut it for us as well at no charge.

This is where the "pain in the ass" part of invitations began happening.

Unfortunately the image was a little smaller than half a sheet of paper, leaving an awkward little blank edge on the side. We went back through and re-cut about a quarter of an inch off each invite (total pain in the ass #1).
Neither of us has very pretty handwriting, so we typed our addresses in a pretty font and printed it onto white labels. But I bought the wrong size and we had to go back and buy new ones (total pain in the ass #2) which they couldn't print on at Kinkos (total pain in the ass #3) so we had to drive all the way out to Walmart in the middle of the night to buy new ink for our own printer to print them ourselves (total pains in the ass #4 and #5).
To fancy up the labels a little bit we bought a corner punch that both tied them into the oldish timey theme of our invites and made them look a little less know...labels. Unfortunately (there's that word again) the corners had to be square to fit in the embosser/puncher and the labels' corners were rounded. So we cut the sides off the labels and punched them (pain in the ass #6)
Here's how the labels turned the picture to really see the embossing (it's subtle, but very pretty in person)

We bought beautiful dark purple envelopes from the Eames Furniture collection on envelope mall, since all the orange options we scoped out were either too bright, too small, or too expensive...and, I mean, Eames furniture! Makes envelopes! Weird!
The envelopes have a very long pointed closure called a "euro flap" that makes them all classy stuff. The glue on this fancy classy flap doesn't extend all the way down to the end of the point. Which means they don't close all the way like normal envelopes. Meaning we went out at four in the morning to find appropriate seals (pain in the ass #7) but luckily there were very pretty ones that went with our palette.

We stayed up all night stuffing these babies, but despite the seven (or more, I may have forgotten them) pains in the ass...they're gorgeous. We love them. Everyone who has seen them has loved them. They're very "us."

Oh, and they cost about twenty five cents per invite. Sha. Bam.

Sometimes I love this wedding stuff.

Monday, September 22, 2008

ACHIEVED!: Invitations

Or, "snail mail: quite quick, actually"

So after an all nighter of printing invites,buying labels, stuffing envelopes, buying DIFFERENT labels, going to Wal-Mart at midnight to buy ink, going to Kinko's at 4 a.m. to buy seals, individually cutting and stamping each label and reprinting all the labels I inevitably ruined through my own spelling mistakes....invitations are OUT.

They were out on Saturday morning, actually, but I have been sleeping off the aforementioned all nighter. And tomorrow (promises promises) I will show what they looked like and how we made them because I think they are pretty damn spectacular.

I just wanted to make a quick post to say



2) if you are a guest of the Hallowedding and you are now reading this blog because I (or my mother or whoever) sent you this way after you got your, hi? Welcome. Apologies in advance for the inevitable profanity.

Now if you'll excuse me I have a very early show tomorrow with about twenty Iowan preschoolers. I need my rest.

(RSVPs you guys!! It is SO ON.)

Friday, September 19, 2008


Food is very, very important to Greg and me. We love to cook, we love going out to eat, our TiVo is full of food network shows...we care about food.

Our love of food makes it extra tragic that one of the most appalling areas of this wedding planning business is catering. I haven't planned or attended many weddings in other cities, but in Omaha, there is one caterer who dominates the scene and it is...not pleasant. I will not name the catering company because I don't want nasty emails, and also there are many people who had to use this company for one reason or another and I think they have suffered enough. I will just refer to them as the Big Bad Catering Company. Many fabulous venues in the metro area have exclusive catering contracts with the BBCC, which is the main reason we passed on many venues that had initially appealed to us. A look at their menus reveals tired old dishes that are VERY expensive and (experience has taught me) don't taste very good. They're not terrible, per se, but if I'm eating something that cost my host $30+ a plate I expect something pretty damn spectacular. Call me picky. I just think that when you're charging that much for a chicken breast you could afford to spare some salt.

Anyway, we wanted to avoid the BBCC at any cost, which is one of the main reasons we went with the Scoular, because they gave us a choice of many caterers and price ranges. In addition to our culinary preferences and budget issues, we wanted a somewhat...unconvential menu. We wanted a menu that was comfortable, casual and fun, much like our wedding. Also, we knew people would be eating in costume and I think prime rib might be a little messy for fairy princesses.

So we wanted soup and sandwiches. Fancy soup and sandwiches, but still.

We looked at the list Scoular gave us, eliminated anyone whose menus started ridiculously high or whose websites discouraged menu tampering, and emailed a few candidates.

Catering Creations emailed us back almost immediately, and their enthusiasm has persisted throughout the process. Before our first meeting we perused their sample menus and pulled out some soup and salad choices that sounded appealing with our sandwiches. However, when we sat down with Jeff, the head chef, he said:

"Okay, I know you guys said you wanted the wild mushroom and creamy onion soups, and I can make those for you and they'll be very good, but if you're doing a Halloween wedding you have to have a roasted pumpkin soup. You have to."

And that, friends, is when I decided that Jeff was my favorite.

So here is our menu. Those of you who are coming to the wedding, look forward to it. Those of you who will not be coming to the can dream.

Pre-game (Dips):
White Bean, Parmesan, Roasted Garlic with Sundried Tomatoes (I have tasted this one in person and boy howdy was it delicious)
Tomato, Basil, Artichoke and Olive Tapenade
Fresh Guacamole & Hearty Salsa
All Dips Served with Fresh Tortilla Chips

(these will be left out and replenished through most of the dancing time as well for snackers and late comers. I love me some guacamole, I really do.)

Soups and Salads:

Roasted Pumpkin Soup with Dark Pumpernickel Croutons
Cream of Wild Mushroom Soup
(Both made with veggie stock to appease our vegetarian friends)

Roasted Sweet Potato Salad with Chile-Lime Vinaigrette

Classic Caesar Salad with Parmesan Croutons


Smoked Beef Sandwich on Foccacia Bread with Caramelized Onions & Arugula with Red Pepper Feta Spread
Blackened Chicken Salad with Blue Cheese, Golden Raisins, with Alfalfa Sprouts and Avocados Served on Ciabatta Bread

Doesn't that sound AMAZING?

And super bonus--they also catered Nick and Erika's wedding in August, giving us the opportunity to see them in action and it was spectacular. The service was great, the set up was clean and pretty, and the food was super tasty.

So we got the menu we wanted, with the price we wanted, with people who actually seem happy to be serving us. Count our catering amongst the victories over the big nasty wedding industry!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

naked finger

As the wedding swiftly approaches, things are getting done (what a novel wedding stuff before the wedding. Awesome idea, Shan) but sometimes being on the ball has it's consequences. Yesterday I gave away my engagement ring. And by that I mean I gave it back to the lovely folks at Custom Gems so they can make me a weddin' band.
As you know, Greg had my engagement ring custom made using (among other things) diamonds from my mom's wedding band. Here is probably the clearest picture I have ever taken of it--it's white gold with sparkly diamonds so it usually just appears as a big blob of shiny. If you click on it you can really clearly see it.
(this a post-shower picture of my presents from super rockstar Jenny Lassley. I took pics of the presents so i could remember things for my thank you cards later, and because I'm craaaaazyyyy)

Well as much as I love my ring, finding a wedding band to fit under it's strange curly shape is pretty much impossible. We considered many options: wearing a band under it, getting a plain band and switching my e-ring to my right hand, getting a fancy band and only wearing the band on fancy occasions, etc. It seems it took forever for us to realize that if Custom Gems could make us a custom ring to fit our diamonds, it could make a custom band to fit that same ring.
Why must we always try to reinvent the wheel over here?
So I dropped off the ring and they'll make a mold of it, then use that mold to make a band that will fit my ring.

I'm very excited for this to happen, but I miss my ring terribly. Especially since in the last year I have developed a habit of twirling it with my thumb whenever I drive, and now I'm just scratching at my bare finger. I also miss having something to subtly flash at boys who get a little too chatty at the store. Now there's no visual proof that I am taken and nothing for me to fiddle with all day and it's driving me nuts.

I would like to say, however, that Custom Gems rocks my shit, and if you have any custom jewelry needs, it is veeeerry reasonable. I won't say how reasonable, but it'll blow the socks right off your feet for sure.

Sunday, September 14, 2008


Man, I wish this card from rarrarpress had been around when Greg and I were doing the long distance thing. It's so sweet.

Although, it should probably be noted that if this were made for us with a map of the U.S. with hearts that big they would almost completely cover each other because Lincoln to Omaha really WASN'T that far...really.

(it just SEEMED far, because I missed him...oh, and I can't drive).

Check out all of rarrar's stuff. It's hilarious/adorable/beautiful. It is also (that word that is almost orgasmic to all brides-to-be) letterpressed. Might I suggest this poster for an absolutely incredible wedding present? We'd love you forever! It will hang over our mantle in our eventual home. Our children will fight over it when we die.

politics: wedding edition

This has nothing to do with politics, but when it comes down to dresses...I'm for Obama.

(found at Manolo for the Brides)

Thursday, September 11, 2008


Fifty days.

Shit shit shit shit shit.

Monday, September 8, 2008

sweet somethings

I heard somewhere that it is sometimes customary to give the hostess of your shower a thank you gift. I don't know if this is Something You Have to Do or Something the Wedding Industry Wants You To Think You Have to Do, but either way I was really thankful and I really really like putting presents together.

I wanted to get a fun little something for Miss OH Ashley, since she planned the whole thing out and hosted it in her SUPER CUTE new apartment, but since bridesmaid Krystal and Mrs OH Jessie made a TON of food for the shower (the leftovers of which I am currently eating straight out of the tupperwear...classy) I got them a little something too.
All the girls got sweet notecards that looked like baked goods (and were vanilla scented!) some pink fancy bubble bath, scrub, and/or body butter, and kool aid lip gloss (because we're five). Ashley, as the actual hostess, also got a loaf of home made bread (no knead invention EVER!) and a cute little basket.
And then, because I was so excited that I got ready like three hours before my shower, I took a little extra time to make cute little thank you tags.

I scanned the image from a satirical etiquette book from the sixties that I got at a library book sale in like the fourth grade. The wedding etiquette chapter has this image of a bride running towards the aisle so fast that the little attendants are left's really cute and even way back then, I knew I wanted it involved in my eventual wedding somehow.
See how neat? I have no idea who the artist is but I want prints all over my house.

I changed the color not to be clever but because I'm out of black ink (eh) and then I used a pretty font on the bottom. The brownish hue and the unevenness of the color made it look like a rubber stamp. That also wasn't intentional, but made it look like I put more effort into it than I actually did. Score!

I think they turned out pretty well, since this, like the shower, was my "first time." I wanted to make sure that this present didn't have similar things as the actual bridesmaid gifts which in them. SECRETS I SAY! (runs away)

bridal shower!

Saturday was My Very First Bridal Shower, and by very first, I mean that't gone to one before. Ever.

Greg made fun of me beforehand by saying I was "Always a bride, never a bridesmaid." Thanks.
i have a ton of pictures of just rooms of people milling around...what should one do with these things?

So I didn't know what to expect out of a shower, but it ended up being really fun! There was a nice mixture of college girls and married ladies, friends and family, and there were a bunch of foods that were based on either sugar, cheese, or can't go wrong, really. Cupcakes were also present, much to the delight of the bride to be and the flower girl to be (who ate part of my cupcake in addition to her own)

I was a little afraid that we would play Stupid Party Games, but we just did one game of Shannon and Greg trivia. It was funny, but I suspect that most bridal shower trivia games are a weird.

Some of my favorite questions:

before they met in person, what was shannon's opinion of greg? --that he should date katie--

when greg assisted directed a uno show, he had to direct shannon in a scene in which she did what? --had sex with another dude.

(many people got this one right, and answers varied from 'kissed another boy' to 'humped jeff bell' and it was by far the one people were most enthusiastic about answering) shannon and greg once had a large shouting match in public. they were arguing about the best plan of defense in the face of what sort of attack? --zombies-- what is ruffles' favorite movie? Kate & Leopold

( nothing to do with us as a couple about to be married. But somebody actually got it right!)

And of course, there were presents. I'm not going to lie...I was pretty excited about the presents.
The theme of the shower was...time? Clocks? I don't know exactly what you call it. Everyone got a specific time of day (8 a.m., midnight) and they were supposed to bring corresponding gifts. Luckily, I am in the kitchen like sixteen hours a day, because I wanted cooking stuff and boy brother, did I get it! Cookie sheets, muffin pans, mixing bowls, pyrex (in red! I didn't know they made red pyrex!), candles, towels, goblets from an honest to god ren fair, and all the awesome plates we registered for from CB2 (the commas from Katie M and the "mmm" from Katie C...Katies love CB2 I guess?) and a whole lot more. It was awesome, and everyone was so generous and you could tell with some presents that the people really thought about what Greg and I would most use and like.

Oh, and did I mention:

Ohhhhhhhhhh, lover.

Okay, I knew my mom was getting me the mixer because she told me. But she said she was giving it to me at the wedding. So when I opened it at the shower I made a lot of fluttery hand gestures and high pitched noises because it was MINE right then and there.
Which is a little Veruca Salt of me but whatevs.

I felt kinda bad flipping out like that. I liked everyone's presents equally it's's a stand mixer. Everything I have ever wanted in a kitchen. My mom had decided that she was bringing so much other junk up for the wedding week that she would just give it to me now to save space in her car...but she pointed out that this WAS IT. Shower, wedding, birthday, Christmas...and I'm like THAT IS FINE CAN I TAKE THIS OUT OF THE BOX NOW?

I can't wait to break that baby in. I think I will call her Nigella.

But, um, back to the shower...I really liked it, and I had a lot of fun. I already have my thank you cards done (I just have no stamps) and I put everything away that I could, minus things like the mixer and the really pretty mixing bowls, which I"m just going to display for a while.

I think I want someone else to get married so I can GO to a shower. I would even like to plan one someday, although I think at this point it'll probably be a baby shower instead. Whatevs. I like making cupcakes in all shapes and sizes.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

10 Pictures of Shannon and Greg

Thanks, facebook! These are the ten greatest pictures I found on the internet...a little fluff for your Thursday. So, in no particular order:

Love in an Elevator
Taken on one of the first days of school in 2004--we finally lived in the same city and it was pretty great. Even though we had been dating for like eight months this is around the first time we called each other boyfriend and girlfriend. Aw, kids. Also, yes, this is what it looks like when you grow out your bangs poorly. Learn from my failures.

I Can Make Your Casse-role
This was taken through a basement window at a party a couple of years ago. People were dancing in the basement and Greg and I took a break. Apparently someone brought a potato casserole (I think Rachel Samson) and we ate it out of keg cups. As college kids are wont to do.

St. Pat's at the Max
St Patrick's day two years ago, at The Max. Greg shaved his head for a show in February and it was finally growing back--a lot of our cutest pictures are from the "Greg has incredibly short hair" phase of our relationship.

"This is how I eat cupcakes all the time!"
Ah, the FAUST Hell Banquet. I think this sums up a lot of our relationship right here. One of us acts kooky, the other makes an accepting but pained face. We make it work.

We took this picture to give to our families a few years ago. We forgot about it until the last minute and underneath our warm wooly coats we are totally wearing pajamas. It's like three in the morning.

We Are The Ones Who Have The Fun
Yes, it looks like we're on a roller coaster, but we are actually just on a hayrack ride at the pumpkin patch. It was kinda rainy. Apparently that was adventure enough.

Spring break in Austin during SxSW, at the VIP party for Blender. Probably the night we saw Nelly McKay. See what I'm saying about the no hair and the cute pictures? Yes, we are both very drunk, but I love it--is Greg snorgling me in this pic, or passing out a little bit?...little of column A, little of column B

Karaoeke Queens
We didn't sing karaoeke together for years into our relationship, but once we started we unleashed a powerful force that has been rocking the socks off the Omaha scene ever since. Usually we sing Danger! High Voltage, but this particular picture was snapped during the second round of a fundraising contest, and we're starting Styx's Renegade.
It is widly believed that we were robbed of the crown, but whatever, we know our station.

Of Course It's On Here
I love this picture for many, many reasons. One, obviously, it is one of the first pictures after we got engaged, and it sums up most of the engagment in one picture: he asked on a pumpkin and I said yes. The Burger King is left out of it. But I also love Greg's face in this picture because it is ADORABLE, and also the fact that his shirt says "Feelings are Boring, Kissing is Awesome"

And I know I said there was no particular order, but I did save the best for last. From when we did Man of La Mancha together, and I played a nasty old lady and he played a jerk in pumpkin pants.....

If we aren't going to make an amazing married couple, I don't know who stands a chance in this crazy world.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

crochet mask

Three posts in a night! Booya!

The girls and I have decided to make masks for ourselves for the reception--this allows us to both customize our looks and have a party where we make things with sequins and feathers, which is every little girl's dream, I'm sure.

So these masks aren't something I'm considering, but I thought they were so cool I had to show you guys what this girl can do with crochet.

She also offers them in custom colors! Man...for the hundreth time in this process, I wish I could crochet.

All from the amazing Totus Mel etsy shop. She does amazing things with scarves as well.

french paper: breakin' my heart

As I have hinted, we are designing our own invitations. They will be done and mailed out next week! Designing your own invitations is easy and fun if you know your way around a photoshop (if you don't, ask a friend who does as a wedding present to you...totally worth it!) You get to decide absolutely everything...and you get to pick the paper.

My love of paper could be considered...excessive. I've spent hours looking at paper. And my very very favorite place is French Paper. Their website is beautiful, it's easy to find what you want, and it's really not that expensive for fancy-pants paper. They divide their site sort of by the mood of the paper, and my favorite section is the dur-o-tone paper: "rugged, hard working sheets." This is where the kraft paper is, that dark brown speckled paper they use to wrap packages and we use to make patterns in the costume shop. We have decided to go with this kind of paper, mostly because it is cheap and goes really nicely with the vaudvillian aspect (our wedding invitations have a vaudvillian/circus theme. That's normal, right?) If we hadn't chosen to go with kraft paper, I was lusting after the dur-o-tone butcher orange, which is smoky and warm and makes me go all fluttery, and can be seen to the left.
It's basically just orange kraft paper, and we wanted to get the invites printed before they would be able to get our paper to us, and it just didn't end up working out. So we're going with kraft, which means yes, our invitations are brown and industrial looking, and yes, I'm okay with that, in fact I think they look pretty boss.

But that is not the heartbreak--the pain is in the fact that french paper offers envelopes in the beloved orange butcher paper, but they only offer them in A6 and A7--which, to those of you not obsessed with paper and wedding invitations, are not big enough to hold the half sheet invitations we have designed. So no pretty orange envelopes for me.

But I think we need color in the envelope because the kraft paper is so stark, so I'm searching out some rare A8 envelopes that will have punch and pizzazz and still be here by the beginning of next week.

Impossible you say? Maybe, but I have to try!

At the moment the only orange options I am finding are BRIGHT orange. Heinous orange. Astrobright orange. It's not pretty. But as soon as I find our envelopes, we will have these suckas OUT the DOOR, and I can post more about our process.

dress fitted, mind changed, f bombs dropped

This post is FULL of profanity. I apologize.

I know I've been absent. Ironically enough, if you are actually doing wedding stuff, or your wedding is rapidly approaching (fifty seven days....shit) then you don't have time to blog about your wedding, what you've been planning, or how it's rapidly approaching.

But you all keep me accountable so...let's blog this thing.

First of all, I had a second Hastings super wedding weekend. This weekend was significantly less fun than the last weekend, mostly because people either reminded me at how far behind I am at this wedding thing (thanks) or made the wedding planning harder in various ways (again, appreciated) but I'm not going to let this get me down. I am a wedding planning machine, motherfuckers. You do not want to mess with this engaged lady. I have shit I need to do.
That is another reason why it took me so long to post.
But I digress. Obvs.

I had a dress fitting. Yay! I can't post pictures on here because I want to keep that at least SLIGHTLY under wraps, at least from Greg, but I can show you my face when I first put my dress on:
That is a look of joy and a deep love for pretty things that now belong to me.

Once I got over the initial giddiness of being in my Wedding Dress, I saw myself in the big mirror and it was...interesting. I love my dress, still. I just had one of those little diva moments when I looked at myself in a dress that was actually mine and freaked out a little when it didn't look like the dress I had tried on before...probably because this one was probably three sizes bigger. I needed a bigger dress because I am a big girl on top (not just big busted, but big waisted and big ribbed) but I'm pretty small in the hip area, so what had previously looked like a modified mermaid now looked like a big off-white tube and I was. Not. Happy. However once they got me all pinned up I was happily back into mermaid territory and that crisis was averted.

That crisis. Then we go to my hair piece. Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.
See those under eye circles? Those weren't there before they put that thing on my head. But it is very pretty, I will give you that.

So let's just break it down for a moment: I am with the design camp that is currently very popular that loves little birds and branches and leaves and deer and etc etc etc. So when we first went to the shop, in May, and I saw a pretty little headband that looked like the branch of a very sparkly tree that wrapped around the head, I thought "ooooooh pretty."
My sister also thought "ooooooh pretty" and I tried it on. We decided to order it as well when we ordered my dress. And then we drove away.
And the moment we drove away from the store I I want that headband, really?
And then I fretted over the damn thing for like four months.
First of all, they didn't let me take a picture of it, or give me the item number, so I was going strictly from memory about how the thing actually looked, which made trying to find co-ordinating jewelry a bitch. It was also gold, which made silver jewelry pretty much a no go. And it's very sparkly, which could lead to overkill of bling. It also eliminated the addition of feathers to my hair for the reception, which I had been toying around with and had really liked the idea. Also I worried about my hair, and how it would affect that.
'So I will say I was a little apprehensive. I thought that once I saw it and could try it on again things would get better. They didn't.
Look how happy I am. Oh no wait...this is my "flipping out on the inside" face. There were some issues with the headband.

First of all they didn't order me a head piece, they pulled it off the shelf. I am fine with sample items, but this one had been a-bused and was showing the wear and tear, and they had charged us full price. Some of the leaves and sparklies were hanging on by strings of hot glue. So that made me less than happy. Secondly, whenever it touched my hair it became instantly tangled, which would make it impossible to adjust any part of my hair style on the wedding day.

Finally I just didn't like the way it made me look. I couldn't make myself like it.

But I didn't let on that it wasn't working, because that's just not my style. I didn't want to disappoint my mom and sister, who had helped me pick it out. I didn't want the very nice ladies at the Bridal Isle to think I was being a diva bitch. I didn't want to put anyone out. Usually at this point I swallow my misgivings and just take one for the team.

Then I looked at myself in the mirror and thought "But it's MY WEDDING."

And that kicked it. I took the headband off. I found myself a big pair of earrings and I put them on and I said, this is what looks good on me. Big ass earrings. And everyone agreed. Even the lady who was supposed to sell me the hundred dollar headband.

But of course I'm still a pussy, so I was going to take the headband anyway, but my AMAZING SISTER earned her Mrs OH status in about five minutes by forcing me to speak up and getting them to give us a refund. I love that bitch sometimes.

So I guess the moral of this story is, in a world where the word "bridezilla" is thrown around a lot, sometimes you have to say "It's my special day, motherfucker! And I'm gonna do what I want!" As long as you say that part quietly to yourself. Outloud you say, "Excuse me? I don't think this is going to work out" and just say "motherfucker" with your eyes. It'll get you far, and it'll save you a hundred bucks.

SOooooo, any suggestions for huge ass earrings? My ears are now available.